I am almost done with my semester. It ends early december, and I am relieved. It's currently november and it's not even thanksgiving yet, but I am so tired. Electrical engineering is a demanding field, still I go forward. I have had nonstop assignments. I just want to rest and go fishing. I want to read. I actually probably should have been reading now, instead of working on my blog haha, but I really like doing this.
Now that the year is almost over, I look back on it with a lot of love. I had a good year this year. This is sometimes hard for me to bleieve, but it's true. I learned so much, and I am so grateful for everything I am working on in life. I am grateful for the oppurtunity I have, and I am happy to be studying. I also have to acknowledge this year has been bad for many, and I feel I must hold some sort of vigil for them, those that have been hurt this year. My joy is good, and I will share it, while also remembering and honoring and advocating for those who's year has not been as good.
I have stopped weightlifting for hypertrophy, I just don't care anymore. I wish I did, but I don't. I am working kettlebells now and I feel much more explosive. I am losing weight which sucks, but such is life. I feel mostly better. I want to start a youtube channel where I talk about things I am interested in while I fish. I don't expect it to get many or any followers, but I want some place to voice my thoughts on things, and enoying being in nature. I think that would be good for me. I purchased a little video camera, and I am looking forward to it's arrival. I want to talk about philosphy, fishing gear, book plots and video game plots as well. I want to talk about stories.
anyways life is getting stressful for me again, so i may just log off of all social media again. I may also donate to food banks near me, because I need to be part of the good in this world
everyone in this class is already leaps and bounds ahead of the professor and it's kind of funny.
I have been away from this website for a while, and while I can't say I am fully back, I am glad to say I am doing better. I have been a hot mess since election day, but I will say, I am safe. I am happy and I am safe. I am starting school this fall. I am excited to get back into it. I am afraid, but I know it's going to be okay. I have been seeing a therapist, and he was not the right fit for me. It was really frustrating. One thing he did say to me, that I think was useful was that," The internet and the real world are two different places". I felt like I knew that before, but I don't think I truly understood that until this month. I have been away from any major news outlets. I have been isolating myself from the internet and it has been helping me out
Ive been camping a few times since I have been away and it does the soul good. I don't know if I truly believe in a soul, and I don't know why camping does me so good, but it does. I like the silence. I think I am going to go fishing today. Maybe after I post this. I might pick up some new fishing hooks, but we'll see. I am going to take an audio book and be with myself and I cannot wait.
I am from Texas. I ride horses, I fish, I love my bbq, sweet tea, and say ma'am. I am a great shot with a gun and an bow. I was born here, and I was raised here. But I am also latino. I am also transgender. I have lived here my whole life; ride and shoot and eat better than the lot of them, and will still always be an outsider. I will never truly belong here, and that upsets me the most.
Will I have to leave my state? most likely. I feel unsafe as it is. I only intend to stay for a little while longer. I am finishing up my second degree, after my first degree's job market got decimated.
I love the indie web, I think it's so much fun. I have been stressing with all the politcal stuff, but you know how life is. I am afraid for my life sometimes. But still, I rise. I am excited to watch the new episode of severance. My partner and I are going to get pluckers and then watch it. I can't wait. I really am excited. Ugh things are a mess arent they? I hope I can survive another 4 years here and then bounce to another country.
I have been thinking about, and have been terrified, about the presidency. I feel helpless. I have actively been avoiding most major sites, with the exxception of tumblr and reddit. I am scared, but mostly I am tired. This is aweful, and I am sure we all know that by now, but stil, it has to be said. Not becuase I expect anyone's mind to change, but so that one day we can look back and realize we have really dug ourselves into a hole.
I find myself wanting to distance myself from my phone, and everything mainstream. i don't want to be a part of social media anymore. I refuse to give them my fear and I refuse to give them my power.
Recently I signed up for a 5k and I am super nervous. I needed something good to look forward to, and this is what I chose. I don't really know much about running except I had a fitness exam I thought I wanted to complete. I was SO wrong about that.... but anyways I am really excited. I did a mile race before. I am nervous. If it goes well I might want to do a triathelon. I am excited. I got a coros watch so I could give that a try. I figure I'll use it to lift weights anyways. Fingers crossed!
I had a lot of fun! It was my partner's and I anneversary, and I really enjoyed seeing all the horses. I used to ride horses, before I transitioned, and I have not had the oppurtunity to ride again (though sometimes I wonder if I ever should... I get scared now! But I do love them. It was so much fun to see those giant puppers.